Monday, March 2, 2015

Believe It or Not: More Carl Being Carl

I hate to change the subject just when HermanGate is heating up so nicely but duty calls, friends.  It's not so much changing the subject anyway as much as expanding the public view into the days and ways of Buffalo School Board member and CEO of Ellicott Development, Carl Paladino. Over the weekend, Carl and a few thousand like minded souls gathered in Maryland at the annual CPAC convocation. I'd call it Teabagapalooza but I think that suffix might be played out. Long story short, (yeah right) a Bloomberg reporter spotted our guy Carl drifting amongst the ether of this Rand Paul, Ted Cruz and Lindsey Graham studded event and asked him what he thought of Rudi Giuliani's latest outbreak of foot-in-mouth disease. For the record, Rudi surmised  -- based on whatever evidence a guy like Rudi uses to make decisions-- that Barack Obama does not love America. 

The remark caused a predictable uproar with offended Democrats clutching their pearls and hyperventilating in righteous indignation.Meanwhile there occurred an equal and opposite reaction on the other side of the aisle with Birther holdouts nodding in sage agreement with Rudi and Kenyanspiracy theorists grinning Cheshire Cat-like in jaded bemusment at the dyspeptic Democrats. While Dave Weigel the Bloomberger must surely have known Carl has no high opinon of President Obama, I doubt he expected the million dollar sound byte Carl laid on him for the asking. 

Hard not to love the direct approach here at first but wait. After further review as they say in the NFL, what exactly is our man saying? The invite from Weigel was obviously a set up to draw an outrageous remark from a notoriously loose cannon. I imagine Weigel understood Paladino, like the rest of the wealthy white men gathered here to forward their agenda and foist their world order on Americans, has no love or respect for President Obama. The expected punchline Weigel was hoping for was likely something more along the lines of going one further on Obama asking if he even loves his wife or something equally outrageous and offensive. But as his campaign manager reminded us the other day in the comments section of, Carl is Clever. Given a choice between siding with a putatively like minded Conservative like Giuliani and enjoying a free shot at the POTUS, Carl opted out and went with "None of the Above." Instead, in true mean spirited, Hammurabi coded politicianese, Carl dug into his warchest of slights, resentments and petty gripes and drew up an outstanding beef with Rudi Giuliani. Never mind the iffy remarks made by a former NYC Mayor against the President, never mind taking the side of a big mouthed Conservative against a President Carl likes to think of as a Socialist. Never mind all that. What Carl did is what these guys always do no matter what they try to tell you: He made it all about Carl and summed it up by saying "any guy who tries to extort $50K from me for an endorsement can fuck himself." Never mind your political strategy, your loyalty to the cause and/or party. What matters most when you're Carl is that you remember who stuck it to you and you wait as long as it takes then stick it to them in return. A true window into the psyche if we ever needed one.

As for the lingo... I hesitate to say very much as I have been wont to go a little heavy with the salt shaker here when the spirit moves me. It's very deliberate though and I always ask how it sounds with or without the F bomb before I commit to it. Of course it's likely to offend some readers but then again I ask what did you pay to read this thing? Exactly. Were I an elected official though, and a member of a public school board no less? I like to think I'd try to tone it the fuck down. See how that works?

 Imagine for a minute, Dr. Nevergold being interviewed outside the board room after one of these increasingly more frequent slugfests and responding to a question about Larry Quinn with "I've been on the phone with the Sabres but they won't the motherfucker back, even for all the pucks in Welland." 
Or if Phil Rumore was buttonholed by Tiffy Lankes of the Nooze and asked what he's willing to concede in the contract and Phil busts out with "Maybe we can use the cosmetic rider to get Sampson's head out of his fucking ass." Never happen. 

There is no such saying as "Oh that's just Barbara being Barbara" and for all of the enmity Phil Rumore attracts in this city I can't even recall a time when I have heard anyone say "That's just Phil being Phil." As people connected to education they seem to grasp the concept that you are going to be held to a higher standard and you are in a sense a role model whether you agree with it, like it or not. But once again we somehow dig down deep and come up with yet another mulligan for the cranky rich guy who does whatever he wants, says whatever the hell he wants and emails stuff that would make Nathan Bedford Forest sit up in his coffin and salute. Why is that Buffalo? Don't we all deserve better? 


  1. Oh, this is just Sean being Sean! lol. I fucking love how that works! Thank you Sir!

  2. I am tired of being a fucking role model. Why aren't the administrators who abuse me held to a higher standard?