Sunday, May 8, 2016

Post Post Mortem. Or Maybe Just Gloating...



Maybe I'm beating a dead horse here, friends. But then again maybe I missed a spot. B-Lo's historic pile driving of the so called Reform Agenda has truly reminded me of what a posse of half assed, shit talking do nothings this crew really was. Starting with the the night of the May 6, 2014 election when Tiffy Lankes in the Bflo Nooze breathlessly described Larry Quinn shoveling prawns down his gullet at Bacchus wine bar with fellow charter school opportunist Frank McGuire as Lars dialed up Run DPCC frontman Sam Radford to assure him that the fix was in and all of Buffalo would be smelling their farts from now on.

A new majority metastasized in May of 2014 when the pre-existing condition of Carl, McCarthy and Sampson added the insufferable Lars Quinn -- who late in life realized destroying the Sabres and living out the rest of his days on the millions he reaped doing so wasn't quite as fulfilling as he'd anticipated it would be-- and the seeming non entity of Patti Pierce -- in a non speaking role while enjoying her own generous police union pension yet agreeing with the boys on every charge that BTF and the teachers needed to be brought to heel. So there we had it: Lars a millionaire, Carl a millionaire, Sampson, a wired wealthy old white man and retired prison warden arse deep in the charter industry. While the 3 Privateers served as the cerebral cortex of the corporate privatization lobby -- henceforth we'll just dispense with that "ed reform" bullshit and call them what they are -- McCarthy and Pierce comprised the reptilian brain stem that could always be counted on to vote as instructed with no backtalk or "funny ideas" a la Ogilve. I admit we were afraid. I lost count of the messages I read from angst engulfed pedagogues ending in "we're fucked."

Ahh but maybe some of us were guilty of believing the privatizer's own hype. Did we forget that Quinn's Sabres resume included fumbling away Coach of the Year Ted Nolan, Rockstar GM Johnny Mucks, Chris Drury, Danny Brierre, Stu Barnes and Pat LaFontaine? It would be like Bill Polian losing Kelly, Thurman, Bruce, Andre, Talley and Marv then running for the school board hoping we'd all forgot about it. This guy is awful. Quinn's most notable accomplishments as a Board Member to date included being photographed screwing around on his phone in the middle of a student speaker's rant  at a board meeting against board members ignoring speakers and playing with their phones. Plus there's the time Lars had Kevin Gibson BTF Secretary expelled from a meeting as Gibson was at the podium preparing to address the board. Oh and he made some ignorant remarks during a visit to Lafayette High calling teachers clowns and idiots and whining that he only came as a favor to Carl. It was so painful Carl Paladino was clearly embarrassed. He tried to laugh it off explaining that Lars was "having a bad hair day." So Quinn sucks as badly as a board member as he did at mismanaging a hockey team.  Notice he's had very little to say in the post smackdown of his crumbled majority. He face savingly reminded erbuddy that work remains to be done then echoed Carl the Soon to Be Absent in assuring us he has no plans to run again. No Lar, we didn't think for one minute that you ever dreamed of running again.

For all of his vitriol and venom Carl Paladino's concern for the children has apparently reached it limits. He's in such a rush to get back out on the campaign fail for Governor again that he's going to have to cut his losses with this school board crap and get re-invested in the business of re-promoting Carl. The fact that New York City still remembers him from his last run pandering to Hacidic Jews, denigrating the Gay Pride Parade and glossing him on the Post cover as "Crazy Carl" means nothing to him. It must drive Carl crazy to see a hardcover version of himself headed for the GOP nomination in the form of  pal Donald Drumpf. The old adage about comedy is that it's all about timing. And if comedians have shown us anything in the last 15 years it's that there's a laser fine line between American politics and the Ars Comedia. Call me optimistic but  I see the Drumpf phenomenon erupting in a ball of self immolation sometime between now and election day in November. The guy simply can't help himself in many of the same ways our own paperback Trump here in Buffalo can't help himself. Remember where you heard it but between now and November there are simply way too many opportunities spreading themselves before Trump to do or say the one thing from which there can be no retreat. It's what he does.

By that time Dumbericans will finally have figured it out  -- between episodes of Ice Road Truckers, River Monsters and On Golden Blonde XIV-- that Donald Trump is wholly unsuited to run a country. Voters will be so sick of his taunts, his dog whistle comments, his name calling and shit talking that anyone walking in his shadow or aping his antics will suffer the same fate Carl's board majority mates met in last week's election. It will be quick, decisive and humiliating. And when backwater B-Lo's paperback Trump shows up thinking to cash in on the Trump Playbook for Gubner using the same tired schtick he'll be just like the kid in my study hall at Burgard 2 years late sporting a Flava Flav clock around his neck. As I recall the room shattering comment was "Hey Cuz I don't mean to be the fly in your shit but that clock thing's kinda played out, y'know?" Cue gales of derisive laughter. Timing. It's all going to be about timing. And by the time our guy has his all Beemer gassed up and all of the Harley colored posters ready to go nobody's going to want to hear it. He may as well go out and get himself a big assed clock to wear around his neck on the campaign trail.

McCarthy's legacy if you can call it that was to whine to the Buffalo News. I'm not sure if he ever heard Dick Nixon tell the press that they wouldn't have Dick Nixon to kick around any more but he sure as hell sounded tricky dickish when he sniveled "I guess the citizens of Buffalo don't want change. They want the status quo." Kind of ironic coming from the guy whose team mates were supposed to be the change until they settled into their own status quo. Sniping, name calling, making demands and stamping their feet every time things didn't go their way. Au contraire Jason McCarthy, the citizens of Buffalo do want change and they voted to dump you and your status quo. For a while they had a lot of sound and no shortage of fury but in the end it was a tale told by some idiots signifying nothing. 

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