Bearing the Unbearable

When I got home from school yesterday I climbed onto the couch where my own kindergartener Ronan cozied up next to me and watched cartoons for about half an hour. He didn't question how many times I hugged him and kissed him on the head and he didn't seem to notice me trying not to cry as we sat there together on a Friday afternoon a safe distance from the school whose kindergarteners were massacred by a sick person with military weapons. After a while the other kids asked what was for dinner and I needed to get a few things. Ronan asked if he could go to Tops with me and began making his list of items. It'll be hotcorn as he still calls popcorn in the store and chocolate for home he told me as if he'd just completed composing a symphony. So we shopped for dinner stuff and Ronan feeling the winds had somehow shifted to his back began picking off items one at a time, amazed at ease with which he was cashing in on Dad. We got Pringles, Doritos, egg nog, cheese corn, a handful of bulk chocolate peanut butter cups, candy canes and chocolate santas. His Polar Express ticket for the pajama party came in the mail the other day and he's safely tucked it into a good spot in the hallway desk. He's excited about staying off the naughty list and he argues with his second grade brother over the xbox, the crayons and markers, the Legos and a jacket they fight over some mornings as they scramble out the door to meet their interminably chipper bus driver Mrs. Best. In short, my five year old is living the same normal healthy life so many of those other kids were when they left for school yesterday morning.  The sadness and horror of what happened in the Sandy Hook school is simply unbearable. I can't think of any other word to describe it. My heart is heavy with the thought of those 20 families a week and a half before Christmas who are now without their precious babies. And in another chamber, one I am keeping on the back burner for now my heart is boiling with rage at the cowards in Washington D.C. who watched last year as fellow member of congress Gabbie Giffords was shot point blank in the face with a military weapon by another deranged asshole. They have so far done nothing and likely won't do anything until the pressure on them is so unbearable that they have no choice but to take on the lobbyists and billions of the NRA. If seeing their own colleague shot in the face doesn't move them can we expect that a classroom full of  dead 5 year olds and half a dozen staff members in an elementary school slaughtered by another crazy with guns intended for large scale military mayhem will have any effect on them whatsoever? I am all for hunters living here in Eden it'd be like denouncing the Pope at Notre Dame if I weren't. But no hunter needs an AR-15 or a Bushmaster. Sorry macho adrenaline junkies but there's no reason you need to possess firearms whose only function is to kill many people fast. And if you can't buy a bag of dope in most states legally why the hell is it possible to buy these goddamned murder machines in as many states as it is? I look forward to watching politicians squirm and to doing my level best to contribute to their squirming. For now we'll hug our babies and buy them stuff they don't need if it helps us to feel a little better. Peace friends.