Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Larry Quinn: the Poser's Poser

Larry Quinn Comes Out from Behind His Lace Curtain at Doc's

I was looking through Larry Quinn’s C.V. recently to see where exactly he picked up his flair for the pastoral phrase. Nowhere in his travels from his private high school to his private college to his wunderkind appointment in the Griffin administration did I encounter any mention of hog farming, porcine relations or a residency in swainery. Yet, when once again, challenged to lie his way out of having Kevin Gibson ejected by the cops, Quinn of course says he didn’t do it. He then bristles at the suggestion of being sued by Phil Rumore and offers the inexplicably bizarre sound byte that follows:  “When you stick a pig, it squeals, o.k ?”
We’ve already covered Quinn alluding to teachers as “idiots” and “those clowns.” Apparently this human has run out of patience with simple insults in homo sapien  terms  and has degenerated into likening teachers, their union and its president  to pigs.  

Pigs, in what sense, Larry? I feel compelled to ask. Do you mean the clichéd “pigs at the trough?” we hear so much about from corporate welfare queens like Sampson and yourself  and Carl who never lift a finger unless it’s government subsidized yet you somehow feel a righteous entitlement to attack $50K year teachers who buy most of their own supplies and work in conditions that would see you testing your psych rider as “pigs at the trough.”  I can only assume that was where that pig thing came from.
What baffles and amuses  me though in his particular choice of phrase is the absurdity of such a pampered, privileged double loaf wonder bread doofus as Lars trying to wax philosophical in the argot of the common man. Larry, I live near farms. My sons feed calves and help with milking at certain friends’ houses the mornings after a sleepover. My father was raised on a dairy farm and his father before him and I still have one cousin who’s making a go of dairy farming with the farm he inherited from my uncle. What I’m saying Larry, is these are the guys who use phrases like that. Guys with callouses on their hands and shit on their boots who worry about the weather, getting the hay in and the price of milk. Working guys Larry, those are the guys who can say “When you stick a pig it squeals.”  Those men earned the right to talk like that. You on the other hand continue to be a poser trying to wedge yourself in at the end of the pew in some church that simply won't have you. How about the time Gil Perreault couldn’t make it to the Sabres’ Alumni game so you inserted yourself between Rick Martin and Rene Robert? Do you think they noticed you didn’t belong there Lar? Do you think people talked? What do you think they said Larry, that your hair looked cool? 

Strutting around Doc’s on election night trying to fool Smitty and Sully and Murph into thinking you were there too  hauling cases of pounders from Harry’s to  the courts at Caz in the 70’s -- you're a laugh a minute.  Nobody bought your act for a second but since you and Carl were buying everyone played along. Just like now Larry. Nobody is buying your step out on the back porch with your corncob pipe to cuss the gubmint and talk hawgs routine either. You’re a 1%er and a wanker Larry -- not one of the boys  from St Tommy’s or St. Teresa’s or East Eden or North Collins. You’ve spent your life trying to screw union workers out of a buck so you could take yours home in a bushel. How much did you take away when Golisano bought/sold  the Sabres, Larry? I’ll bet it was a lotta bacon, Larry. And for all your talk of meritocracy and accountability you should be living in Salvation Army after your performance in the NHL. Oh and by the way Larry,You're a Limo-crat not a Democrat. So quit trying to "just folks" that dead horse too. 

In the future Larry, stick to what you know and save the aww shucks routine for community theatre. Nobody is buying it. Nobody is buying you or any of the lies you try to get away with. I predicted you’d flame out before Carl would and so far you’re coming through like a champ. Twice now you’ve behaved like a boor and embarrassed yourself publicly  and both times Carl’s thrown you under the bus to the media. How many more times do you think you’ve got left, Larry? How many more strikes do you think you've got left Larry? I think Dirty Harry said it best when he asked “Do you feel lucky punk?"

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